Scribbled with Light

I have been away from myself for a few weeks now, I am not really at fault nor upset that I have been so absent. Checking my Email is frightfully overwhelming. Frankly I would like to be self indulgent right now and play on my phone or watch movies. I have a freelance job that is in dire need of my attention, a wedding. I was halfway through ordering when personal leave arose. Near the same time, I received an artovance sketch book. I would love to get my page completed and mailed off to the next artist. But back to my email, There were several gig responses I had neglected. The date for an auction I am in at Fleurs et Vin is rapidly approaching. And the most pressing or terrifying was a conformation email I received this evening to be in a show in WI. I am creating a new piece for the show and have not been able to construct everything I need. My self doubt, and shabby finance, scare the shit out of me. I have never been in a show, and I respect William Zubrick and his work so much. I am so honored that he wants a conformation from me. I know in my heart that I can pull this off, but my mind has built up such a lovely time/money consuming piece that I fear my ability to do so. I have faith on my actual ability, but not my follow through…. Mostly I fear it being a disaster. I truly know this is ever so boring to anyone who is reading it. I know I have to get on track, find steady work and plow through. I’m scared. A friend of mine wants to invest in me, in a fetal stage of course, so I believe I can find a consistent faith in myself… (Actually, I believe the self deprecating part is inexplicably related to the drive part. That doesn’t make for good self talk, though. Now does it?)